Parenting – the second time around

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Ding, ding – round two! Welcoming baby number two into the family can prompt your parenting style to undergo a major transformation. Read on for some of the hilarious differences you may experience as a mum of two.

 

Mealtimes

First born: You’ll only serve meals that are made from scratch, featuring organic vegetables from the farmer’s market, painstakingly steamed in Evian and served on a BPA-free platter via a little wooden spoon. Baby will be wearing a stylish bib to save his clothes from splashes. You’ll take photos with your iPhone to share on social media after every bite and chuckle about you baby’s messy mouth. Your main goal in life is to get as much nutritious food as possible into his tiny tummy.

Second born: He’ll get blended leftovers of whatever you’ve eaten for dinner – even if you’ve ordered delivery. Baby didn’t eat much? You don’t sweat it. You know he’ll catch up at the next mealtime.

 

Bath time

First born: Baby will enjoy a thorough soaking every single night in his ergonomic baby bath. You’ll spend ages gently dabbing him dry before offering a half hour baby massage using organic coconut oil.

Second born: Put plug in sink. Run water. Test the temperature with your elbow. Dip the baby in to remove any stickiness. Pick your towel up off the bathroom floor to dry him with.

 

Napping

First born. Draw up a strict sleep/wake schedule based on expert knowledge gleamed from all the bestselling parenting books you’ve read. Spend 45 minutes patting your baby to sleep only for it to be time to get up again.

Second born: You turn to check on the baby and suddenly realise he’s nodded off in his reclining chair. “Oh look the baby’s fallen asleep,” you say to your husband, before carrying on with whatever you were doing.

 

The nursery

First born: The nursery was complete weeks before your little bundle made an entrance into the world. You searched high and low for the perfect furniture and created an entire Pinterest board devoted to your favourite themes and colour schemes. When you add up all the money you’ve spent, you are shocked to discover your baby’s new digs cost more than your first car.

Second born: You send your husband into the storage under the stairs to dig out the old Moses basket, dust it down and place it beside your bed. Job done.

 

Birthday parties

First born: You’ll approach his first birthday party like a dedicated project manager, with a guest list, bespoke invites – sent out on luxuriously thick paper, no less – and serious thought put into sourcing the most impressive food and entertainment your budget can afford. A professional photographer will capture the most precious moments of the day and the children will return home with goodie bags stuffed with cake and toys.

Second born: Your baby’s first birthday is fast approaching – you can’t believe how time flies! You keeping making a mental note to send out some invites for a party round yours but before you know it you’ve run out of time and decide to spend the day at soft play instead frantically sending What’s App messages to your friends to come and join you.

 

Health niggles

First born: If your baby sneezes more than once, you’ll run him to the emergency room just to be on the safe side. If he has a slight temperature, you’ll stay up all night to monitor him – medicine in one hand, cold compress in the other. You’ll put a humidifier in the room and spend ages trying to unblock his stuffy little nose with an aspirator.

Second born: Baby sneezes a couple of times and has a mild cold. You wipe his nose, turn to your partner and say, “He’ll be alright”, before going back to sleep.

 

Playtime

First born: You carefully stock your child’s play area with age-appropriate toys rated the best for stimulating development and early learning. Hours are spent exploring how each and every toy works and ensuring you are using it in the best possible way to ignite those little brain cells.

Second born: You spend half an hour rummaging through your eldest child’s discarded toys to find objects your youngest wont choke on, scatter them over a play mat and hope for the best.